How to Set Epic Goals With Soul
Lot's of people tell me they don't set New Years resolutions because they never keep them so what's the point?
If that's the attitude then why bother have any goals fullstop?
In fact, why make changes in your life ever?
I'll tell you why...
Because we need growth and change for fulfilment and joy. Plain and simple. If we don't have that we get stuck and stagnant and frustrated and pissed off at our lack of willpower and failure and beat ourselves up and so on and so on and nothing ever changes.
Time for a change don't you think?
Why haven't they worked in the past?
If you were able to reflect back on your past goals that never saw that light of day; the New Years resolutions that fizzled out before the sparkle in the midnight fireworks was gone from the night sky, you would see what they all have in common;
- They are too general
- You don't believe what you are saying
- You aren't excited about what you're doing
Before I do any goal setting I reflect on the year before and look at what I learned, I celebrate my achievements and I analyse what worked and what didn't work and why.
I use my reflection as a basis to re-align for the New Year ahead. I try not to dwell on my failures and instead understand what lessons they gave me, after all I have 100% faith that everything happens exactly as it's meant to.
How to Set goals with soul
Usually I set one goal each year "lose weight". Of course, in 33 years, I've achieved that goal twice and both times were hard work without any lasting effect.
So, I am by no means a goal expert but on 31st December 2016 I set fifteen goals and I achieved fourteen of them. FOURTEEN. Not without hiccups along the way but overall without too much effort.
Here’s my theory—feel free to burn it down or to make it your new religion: Goals take time to achieve, and a year flies by, so you have to focus.
While I do set out a few minor goals (try a new class, go to a concert etc) my main tip is to set out to do two to three major things this year with excellence, rather than doing a dozen things sufficiently.
Trust me on this.
Determine your primary area of focus
My focus area's are always in alignment with my core values (i.e. material items are not of value to me so I never have values like buy a brand new luxury car).
Do any of these focus area's resonate with you?
- Career - this could be in regards to your chosen career path, starting a new business, growing your current one or totally flipping it and reversing it
- Financial - buying a new home? reducing debt? regaining financial control?
- Lifestyle - how do you want to live day to day? Does this mean introducing daily practices? travelling more? creating a sanctuary at home? being more conscious with your work/life balance?
- Body + Wellness - how do you want to take care of your body and mind? if you knew you couldn't fail what would you desire regarding your mind, body and spirit?
- Creativity - what do you do for fun? how do you play and feel joy / calm / relaxed etc
- Learning - do you want to learn a new skill or up skill? what do you like to read about? research?
- Relationships - this could be about how you interact with or what you want to create / let go of in your friendships, relationships with your family or your love life
- Spirituality - what do you do to feel connected to your self? to others? to source?
When you make statements such as "lose weight", you're being too broad. It's not specific and it's not measurable.
Get specific and be crystal clear about what you want;
"I want to lose X kgs" or "I want to weigh X kgs"
Perhaps you aren't actually concerned about losing weight and you want to feel more confident, fit a certain dress size or drink 3L of water a day.
You tell yourself “I'm going to lose weight” over and over while simultaneously feel like a big fat liar. You are going to spend more time and energy trying to willpower yourself into doing something than actually doing it.
You'll keep trying harder but how long can you keep it up?
When you set your goals make sure they feel true to you. If you've always told yourself that you "always struggle to lose weight" or you "can never keep it off" then start telling yourself a more empowering, exiting or inspiring story about it.
The beauty about thoughts is that we have the power to think whatever we want.
How do you want to feel?
Make sure your goals inspire and excite you.
Try and think about your compelling reason for making a change, something that will serve to remind you why you are on the path you are on.
Do you even care about losing weight? Or do you want to lose weight for something bigger than just being skinny i.e. health reasons, energy levels, role model, because you enjoy shopping / dressing up and it's harder when you are bigger.
Some questions to ask yourself...
- How would I feel if I died without doing this?
- How could this affect the next five to ten years of my life?
- Do I feel I was born to do this?
- How could this change my life?
- What's the worst thing that could happen?
Goal setting is not about achievement or failure and it's OK to change the goal post.
Look back at your past experiences, your stunning successes, your brilliant ideas and your comebacks from the brink that you managed to materialise and actualise out of thin air and tell me you aren't capable of something great this year. Now tell me you aren't excited for the New Year to come?!
Once you've had a chance to read, I'd love to know:
What goals with soul have you set for 2018?
Leave a comment below and let me know. Remember, share as much detail as possible in your reply. I want to create a space where people can come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your story may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.