How People Pleasing Is Cockblocking My Joy

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Right now I feel like I have one foot standing in my “old life” and one foot standing in my “new life”.  I’m scared to jump all in. I’m afraid how much things might potentially change.  I’m afraid of letting go of control; I’m a control freak like that.

See, I’m trying to make sure I ease people into my new way of life.  I’m finding I’m explaining myself a lot.  Justifying my why’s so that they can understand things a bit better.

I’m cockblocking myself from my own joy and fulfilment to make others more comfortable.

What’s the consequence?

I’m not showing up 100% as ME.

I’m not bringing my A-Game to every single thing I do.

I’m feeling drained as I walk this precarious line of old vs new, suffocating myself in the process.

I’m doing stupid shit and regretting the hell out of it later.

I’m not going to lose myself because I’m afraid of losing you.
— Moni Barry

So here’s my commitment to myself.

I’m going to be me.

I'm not going to lose myself because I'm afraid of losing you.

I’m going to adhere to my choices and decisions and trust that I know what feels good for me and if I lose people on the way then #byefelicia you obviously couldn’t see me and aren’t deserving of my time and energy.

My decisions are carefully curated deliberate paths I choose for myself and my son.  To those who feel personally invested in my choices, just worry about your own lives please and let me worry about mine.  If you can’t hold space for me and see the big picture then you can’t see me.

To those who are trying to sway me from my choices perhaps look inwardly at why mine bother you; why do you think I’m boring because I don’t want to drink anymore? Trust me I’m more fun sober than you’ll ever hope to be drunk.  And if you don’t think I am then clearly you don’t see me and are no friend of mine.

Be yourself. The people who belong in your life will come find you.
 

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Where in your life is your people pleasing getting in the way of your happiness?

Share as much detail as possible in your reply.  I want to create a space where people can come here each week for insight and inspiration, and your story may help someone else have a meaningful breakthrough.

 

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InwardMonique BarryComment