Understanding the Energetics of Money
I never thought I’d write about money. I’m not sure why? Maybe because it’s such a taboo topic? Or maybe it’s because I’ve had so many epic fails with money and I don’t feel like I’m in a position to preach? But it’s because of my epic fails that I’m in a position to preach. See I’ve been through the ringer with money. I’ve cried, stressed and fumed over it. I’ve had it and then lost it and then kicked my own ass over and over again because of my recklessness. But I’m finally at peace with my purse and I want to share why.
I don’t want to bore you with my money story. But let's just say. I’ve been poor (like food stamps, working 3 jobs to survive and can’t pay my rent poor). Which was cool coz I came from a town where most people weren’t that well off either. I’ve also been pretty wealthy, but because I didn’t understand money I was not equipped to properly handle the amount of money I was earning. I felt guilty for having so much when people had so little and so I had trouble keeping it. I was practically giving it away to my friends and family to make myself feel better.
When I was poor I thought having money would solve all of my problems. Being wealthy was a million miles away from my reality and something I believed only happened in movies or to very lucky people. And when I was rich I spent it like it was running out. "Live it up while you can”, wasn’t just a car bumper sticker, it was my life.
See we treat money like it’s a dirty word. If we desire it then we are greedy and materialistic. If we don’t have any then we are ashamed and feel helpless. And if we lose it we feel angry, annoyed and full of regret. We obsess over money. We allow it to define our “success". We think it will solve our problems. We think it creates more problems for us. We even pretend it’s not a problem and hope it will go away. Money creates businesses and destroys marriages. It helps dreams come true and also causes dreams to come crashing down around us. We love it. We hate it.
But money is so misunderstood. Before now I didn’t understand the energetics of money; how we feel about money creates our reality. How can you call money in if you are simultaneously rejecting it? You can’t be rich if you feel broke and you definitely cannot build wealth or keep it if you aren't energetically aligned with feeling worthy of it.
That crappy feeling you get around money, whatever it is, isn’t there to punish you or make you feel sad, guilty or crap. It’s asking you to create some sort of change in your life, to transform and heal your relationship with money. I mean we can do epic, amazing things with money if we drop the shame and welcome it into our lives.
Value your money worth
Firstly, we need to understand that money is just an exchange of energy i.e. I will give you this much value in return for equivalent dollar value. If you don’t value your own self-worth you will never be paid in kind. And for those who don’t want to pay for value. Think about the thousands of dollars (energy) and hours upon hours (also energy) of education, research, creativity and strategy someone has invested into their product or service. What is that worth to you?
Growing up I was taught exactly zero things about money other than how to work hard for it. I knew how to make money but not what to do once I got it. So there was a lot of trial and error up until this point. But educating yourself on the very thing that is a part of your everyday life is empowering; play around with budgets, research your insurance companies, investigate different banks (don’t just stay with one because you signed up with one as a kid). I know it’s not the most thrilling thing to look at but you are probably (definitely) throwing money away by being unconscious with it.
Check out my resources page for some of my favourite books on money and finance.
Show money some love
Do you ever stop to think about how money is already working for you? Can you pay your rent? Do you have high-speed wifi? Were you able to buy organic tomatoes instead of the regular ones? Did you buy a coffee this morning instead of making one at home? Are you able to read this post on a phone or a laptop? Most people focus on how much money they don’t have (lack) rather than having an appreciation for what money is currently allowing them to do (abundance).
Stop treating money like the bad guy
It’s not the bad guy. It’s just a piece of paper (or a plastic card or a number on a screen). It’s the emotion you are pouring into that paper/plastic/electronic digit that is making it the villain or the hero. Money is not the problem, your beliefs about money are.
So get really clear about your why. What does money mean to you? Why do you want it? Coz there are real goals; heart centred deep core value kind of goals. And then there are bullshit surface-level goals; things you do because you think you have to or you want to prove someone wrong or one-up someone else…you get the picture.
Admit to desiring money so that you can cultivate a healthy relationship and really get to the bottom of why you really want it.
For me, I desire money so that I have the freedom to do what my heart desires and spend more time at home with my son and less time trading my time for money. Having money allows me to;
:: Express myself without restriction; whether it be the clothes I wear or household trinkets.
:: Purchase organic food, speciality items and the highest quality food I can buy.
:: Educate myself - knowledge and learning being one of my core values and the more I’m able to educate myself the better I am able to serve the people who seek me out.
:: Travel at my leisure (adventure is another of my core values).
This isn't about being rich or poor. It's about realising that different people will require different amounts of money depending on their what and why because our core values and desires are unique to us.
Why did I change my story?
One simple reason. I didn’t want to suffer because of my money story anymore. When I suffer my business suffers, if I don’t value what I’m offering then I won’t get a fair monetary exchange. But more importantly, what am I teaching my son about money;he learns from me as I learned from my parents. I didn’t want to just teach him about finances, I wanted to be a living example of how I let go of my old shitty stories and cultivated a healthy wealthy relationship with moolah.
Here are some of the money stories I have re-written (to name a few)
- You cannot make money following your passions / you cannot be financially successful from creative endeavours (bullshit)
- You have to work hard to make money (also bullshit)
- I feel guilty having this much money (limiting story that had me giving away money in order to make others comfortable)
- I don’t deserve this money (as above)
- I’m going to run out so I better live it up while I can (limiting money story that had me spending on things I didn’t need)
- I cannot financially support myself (limiting money story that has me playing small because I was using other people to keep me safe. Their money door was open, mine was shut)
- I will never have wealth again (I will because I’m worthy of wealth)
- Rich people are stuck up or materialistic or greedy (no, people are stuck up/materialistic/greedy both poor and rich)
- Money doesn’t buy you happiness (actually it kind of does but also my happiness is not dependent on money)
- Save money for a rainy day/retirement (i.e. go without now so that you can celebrate later, ummm no thanks)
- It’s rude to talk about money (umm it’s rude NOT to talk about money, drop the shame and lets get real here)
- Money doesn’t go on trees (technically it does kind of….)
Money is not dirty. We are human and part of the human physical experience is enjoying both experiential and material things. And also it’s OK to want some pretty shiny things, coz you know…human?! Who is to decide what brings you joy? Give yourself permission to imagine money being a natural and welcomed part of your life.
You are not creating money, you are just circulating what already exists. All the money you want is out there now waiting for you to call it in.
I'd love to help you uncover your subconscious beliefs and stories around money. Book a single session today and let me help you rewrite your shitty money story so you can call financial freedom and abundance into your life.